June 2014

I was sitting at my usual spot on Long Sands Beach when I noticed a family of people walk in front of me. They looked incredibly uncomfortable, in fact, it was obvious that they were not where they wanted to be.

My brother-in-law also observed this but he had a quick explanation. He told me that they were obviously lake people. My mind immediately started to think about the concept of the differences between lake and ocean people. They were still members of the same species but they obviously evolved differently, because of their dissimilar environments.

First of all, the color of lake people is not the same as ocean people. They are never as dark and the color of their tan is grayer in shade, versus the golden brown of the people of the ocean. I have been told that they try to acquire the tan of coastal people, but the sun of the lakes is simply not the same as the sun of our coastal beaches. Plus the lakes have all those trees that get in the way of the sun. All the ocean has are those pesky umbrellas that the lake people put up to protect their graying skin.

Lake people are often mistaken for the August whites, of the latter part of the summer season. Lake people are also not used to the winds of our coastal beaches. In their own environment, they are seen scattered throughout the mud-like sand of their beaches with picnic-style blankets, protecting them from the many insects and animals that live in their mud.

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The one thing that surprises me most about growing old is that I don’t feel any different inside. I know I am growing old every time I take a shower and find a few more hairs in the drain and a few less on my head.

I also see what used to be a strong, healthy body in the mirror beginning to sag and turn gray. I understand there is absolutely nothing I can do about getting older but why does my mind have to stay forever young while my body succumbs to time? Can anyone guess I just went past another birthday? This one felt like every other, with the exception of one birthday gift.

My sister-in-law decided it was time I sat my butt down on a newer and better beach chair. It has a higher back, was made of plastic and, unlike my old beach chair, it had over 12 different settings for maximum comfort. For some reason this gift represented everything I did not want, because I was getting old. To understand these feelings it is important to go back to the time when I first purchased my only favorite chair. My wife and I were shopping at Bradlees in Newington.

Back then you had to go to New Hampshire or up to Portland to buy anything. It had nothing to do with how much things cost. There simply weren’t any local stores back in the early 1980’s where you could buy a beach chair. I remember we wandered around the store for about an hour picking up things we needed when I chanced upon a small display of summer clearance items. It must have been September because I remember it being cool and my beach days for the year were behind me.

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There is little in this world more enjoyable than a summer garden that is just about ready to give you its bounty. After months of preparing, planting, watering, and weeding the garden is finally about to give you payment for all your labors.

However, every now and then there is an enemy to be reckoned with. A few years back the Japanese beetle population exploded thus decimating anything green. Those ‘sons of beetles’ were everywhere and seemed to evolve into becoming immune to any poison known to mankind. Then there were the voles that made your yard look like a metropolitan highway system boring under the garden and literally making it become one big sink- hole.

Over the past few years there have been few pests that attempted to eat its way into its own form of ecstasy. I don’t know if this is because of weather or the tons of anti-bug fertilizer I have been dumping on my lawn. But, this year a new enemy appeared. It is large, green, and has many horns. It is as though this newest adversary is wearing a kind of protective green horn covered uniform ready to handle anything I can use to destroy it.

I’ve heard horror stories about how whole tomato plants were destroyed because of these horned heathens from hell. First they go after the green leaves of the tomato plants but that just makes them stronger and larger. After this they take out whole bunches of the tomatoes that were meant to be put in our salads and sauces throughout the next few months. I thought I was immune to the problem.

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